Aloha earthings and art lovers!
Thanks for tuning into my second blog post! I created the first blog on here back in January, hoping to make monthly blog updates, but as you see that it is almost eight months later... things didn't happen the way that was intended. That seems to be a common thread in all our lives, doesn't it? We plan and strategize, preparing ourselves for the next step, but more often than not life swoops in and changes your course, sometimes without warning.
This year has been full of a tremendous amount of growth and change that was completely unexpected, but I fully appreciate while looking back at all the "good" and "bad" moments. Why are "good" and "bad" in quotations you might wonder? Well, both adjective are just words to describe either end of the same spectrum. Everything that we encounter is just a part of life, and how we react to the situation is what determines the quality of the experience. I have had many things happen this year that we not ideal including a planned trip to India falling apart and losing close to $1,000 in the process, being denied acceptance to a few art shows/festivals, the dynamic of a previous relationship shifting into an entirely different love pattern, and moving into a new house which I found immediately was not the environment I would like to thrive in. Maybe this comes with maturing in age, or with the deepening of my spiritual growth, or even a combination of the two... but I have been able to accept that these experiences are all a part of my life and do not add "bad" qualities of experience for me, but open doors of learning and growth.
For example, I had been accepted to an artist residency program in Haridwar, India, and I had paid a pretty hefty sum of my earnings to secure my spot. After having many feelings from within, as well as from a few people close to me in my life, I decided to back out of the program to make things feel less stressful on myself and those who were worried around me. I will admit that I was upset about my decision at first, and then pretty distraught for about two days because I found out that my deposit was non refundable after the fact. I have no idea what beautiful things would have been in store for me if I followed through with that trip, but I did learn quite a bit from the experience of applying and backing out.
1. I have the ability and knowledge to professionally apply to over-seas programs. I am grateful for my years of pursing a more professional demeanor in my online outreach. - I worked really hard on my presentation to send to this residency and used all of my resources that I had to make all of the documents come together.
2. I do not need or want to make my decisions based on what people project onto me (which I did in this case) - I am a very empathetic and care giving person, and tend to take in other peoples emotions into adding reason to do/not do something, but my goal now is to commit to my Self and make my decisions on my own by what feels right.
3. I WILL read the fine print of all contracts before I sign them/send money to someone.- I never saw anything about refunds/cancellations, but I also didn't read all the way through all of the terms/agreement material that was sent to me, and I probably could have avoided losing a lot of money.
4. When one door closes, another one will open.- If I continued to commit to the month long trip to India, I would have had to turn down a lot of other amazing projects and opportunities that have happened these past few months, and probably would have not made the decision to relocate to Hawaii (Hawaii blog post coming soon) in a couple months.
5. If I put myself out there seeking help, help will find me. - In trying to raise money for this trip, I offered $100 custom paintings, and I had an overwhelming response of support, which to this day I am so grateful for all of you clients that helped me achieve that monetary goal!
So yeah, reflect back on some moments in your life that you have labled as "bad" and try to see what good came out of the situation. Would you be where you are right now if things happened differently? Would you have missed a different experience if that thing did/didn't happen? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, when it is suppose to happen. The first time I accepted this fact is when I was 18.
Since Freshman year of high school, my plan was to go to SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) to pursue an animation career. I got accepted with a partial scholarship, and I was mentally ready to move my life to Georgia for a new life and live my dreams of the past 4 years. Due to various financial problems my parents had experienced in early years, they were unable to co-sign my loan, and since most of my family lives in Canada, they were unable to co-sign an American loan. SCAD is an insanely high prices private art college, and even though I got a scholarship of $15,000 a year, I still needed another $20,000+. I got another family member to co-sign my loan, so I was set to get ready to leave Indiana for good! Unfortunately, my uncle got diagnosed with cancer (I had not known that information until months later) and had to back out of being my cosigner about a week before I was suppose to make my first College payment and move South.
I remember being at work (server at McAlister's Deli) when I got the news that I would be unable to attend the college of my dreams, and I felt like my whole life had shattered. My manager at the time, Kerry, was so sweet and took me outside to help me calm down and I remember him telling me that everything happens for a reason. In that moment i felt like that was another cliche line to make me feel better, but within the next few hours I kept repeating that to myself and started to accept it. Reflecting back on that years after, I know he meant it. Within the next few months of my life plans changing, I applied to work at Disney World and got the job, moving to Florida for six months and experiencing a whole new side of myself that I had no idea was waiting to be unleashed. I understand that I would have also found a new sense of Self if I were to attend SCAD, but I would have had the stress of classes and financial responsibility, which was not what I encountered during my time at Disney. (I would love to make a whole post about my Disney experience in a future blog post). To make a long story short, I am grateful that I didn't end up going to SCAD, because I would be drowning in a deep pool of debt, and I probably would not have experienced so many life altering adventures with my art and travels. I would not be the person I am today, and I love who I am, so I am GRATEFUL that things happen for a reason when they are suppose to happen, even if it's hard to accept the thing at first.
I had not direct intention of this blog post other that to make a post since it's been so long. Thank you for reading this long blurb, and I hope you can find acceptance that everything happens for a reason, and that just because something is not ideal does not mean it is "Bad" or has to effect you negatively!
Peace, love, and rainbows